Peace of mind is something that all seek but few achieve. It is a high priority for most yet most don’t make life choices that reflect this. It is easy to veer off the path of the pursuit of happiness.
If you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, or worse, it might be time to say goodbye to some of your misapprehensions. Here are some main misapprehensions that can compromise your peace of mind:
1. There’s no room for mistakes.
Peace cannot be achieved if you are constantly punishing yourself for making mistakes. It is a totally natural (even applauded) aspect of life. This constant self-punishment may even cause you to avoid taking risks and new experiences in order to escape your own self-judgment. Trying new things opens doors to unimaginable possibilities and brings a sense of fulfillment to life.
Mistakes are not failures. Mistakes are life lessons that you need to remember and learn from. Whatever healing process you may be going through personally, forgiving yourself for mistakes and accepting them as lessons will do wonders for your well being and peace of mind.
Instead of focusing on errors, pay attention to the feedback received and the experience gained.
Instead of feeling bad for focusing too much on money and things, focus on learning from your past, letting it go, and making your present better. Focus on the now. It’s all you have at the moment. The future is not here yet.
Over time, you will find that your life feels more balanced through your conscious efforts. Living with intention and connecting your actions and thoughts to things you have learned from the past will guide you to a more peaceful future. Be in control of your destiny.
2. Money will make me happy.
In this day and age, it is difficult to assume that money won’t bring you happiness because society so heavily relies on money. Money and material possessions, however, will not bring you happiness. If you give all of your time to professional commitments to earn money, you will find that you have no time left for anything personal at all. You will just have a big house full of toys that you can’t use because you work so much. You will find you are neglecting your loved ones and not fueling your personal relationships. That is not to say that making a good living is bad in any way. Be successful, but for the right reasons and in a healthy way.
When you try to balance finding happiness in money and growing your relationships with loved ones you will find yourself feeling empty and stressed.
There can be no happiness without peace of mind, and materialistic things can’t provide that. Happiness comes from feeling at peace with who you are and how you spend your time.
On the topic of money, spending wisely can make a huge difference to your peace of mind. Today, investing in meaningful and memorable social interactions such as family vacations, sporting events with friends, and so on will bring you more satisfaction than spending money on a pair of designer shoes ever will.
3. Shunning negative emotions brings peace of mind.
When negative things happen it is common to feel bouts of anger, frustration, anxiety, and other negative emotions. It’s also common to try and fight these emotions. This is more damaging than simply feeling the emotions and letting them run their course.
As Carl Jung said, “What you resist persists.”
Emotions don’t go away when we hide them. If anything, they control us even more; we just don’t realize it. Also, emotions are what make us human. Not feeling them means we’ve become robots.
Avoiding negative emotions can give you the feeling of being trapped in a prison because when you can’t accept them, you can’t deal with them. You deny yourself the opportunity to resolve those feelings permanently and feel free.
There are helpful ways to accept and come to terms with your emotions. With the help of mindfulness, meditation, and by writing them down. Peace doesn’t come from suppressing your feelings; it comes from working through them.
4. I need to hold on to my past and think about the future.
No, you don’t and you shouldn’t! Peace of mind can only come in the here and now. This is where you will find your answers and peace.
If you focus on the choices you made in the past you will never be able to move on. Holding on to your past will only allow it to stop you from being in the present. Everyone has experienced a mix of happy and hard moments. While reminiscing about the good times once in awhile is fine, you need to let go of memories and moments that hold you back or instill fear in you.
On the other hand, thinking about the future can cause you to imagine potential outcomes, also causing you to lose focus on the present. So pondering too much over what’s to come won’t help much either.
Life always happens in the present, only by truly experiencing it can we find peace of mind.
5. Getting ahead in life is all that matters.
The world is fast-paced and in our quest to stay ahead of the times and be successful, we forget that no amount of getting ahead will ever feel like enough. And more importantly, by pushing to get ahead in one part of our life, we fall behind in others.
The thought of “making up for lost time” shouldn’t be a plan for your future. You cannot just assume that the loved ones you left behind will always be there when you’re done racing to the top. Although, this race is never ending because you will never feel fulfilled. Ignoring your needs will affect your relationships, physical health, and mental state. Little did I know that ignoring my needs would affect my relationships, physical health, and mental state.
We often undermine the importance of balance. We cannot expect to find peace if we’re constantly chasing our dreams and neglecting ourselves and our relationships. We need to draw a line between what we need and what we want and focus more on the former. Only then will we know real peace.
6. I need to be or feel a certain way.
You need to be whoever you want to be. What brings you peace? What activities set your soul on fire in a good way? Express your personality in the most comfortable way. You will never achieve peace of mind by trying to impress others because, logically, everyone has different ideas of what perfect is. You can never impress everyone. Be yourself. The approval of others will never make you happy.
We all have this image of our “ideal” selves and we spend our lives trying to live up to this. You are already your ideal self. You just have to continue to make choices that fall in line with what your core is telling you. If you feel bad energy upon doing an action, then don’t do that. This could even be something that others are persuading you to believe is good. Be true to yourself.
Accepting ourselves can be immeasurably liberating. When we accept ourselves and our values and build our lives around what’s actually important to us, peace inevitably follows.
7. To express my feelings is to be weak.
You are not weak for expressing feelings. Expressing emotions as they come is one of the most freeing and liberating feelings. This is true peace of mind. Feeling comfortable enough to be comfortable with your emotions. This goes hand in hand with being yourself.
A lot of us feel uncomfortable expressing ourselves. Everyone has different experiences with being able to express emotions throughout life. Some are raised to believe that it’s not normal. However, it is our natural state and it truly is so normal.
We need to realize that expressing our emotions in a healthy manner is a sign of strength rather than weakness. It takes a brave person to be honest about his or her feelings. More often than not, the expression is rewarded with peace of mind.
Achieving peace of mind is a continuous process. It’s about understanding yourself and accepting yourself for who you are. Bust these misconceptions and you will be on the path to happiness and contentment with yourself.