Failure is inevitable. The fear of failure, and making mistakes isn’t something to be afraid of or cause you mental and even physical agony. The constant overwhelming feeling that you may fail at something can be detrimental to your well-being. Failure resides in the fear of being a disappointment to oneself or others. The reason why we find ourselves in this predicament is that we focus too heavily upon what we expect instead of what we want. We immediately focus on our own desired outcomes and lose sight of the main goal at hand. The fear of disappointment is distress of potentially not getting what you want. This may even affect your confidence to take chances such as, playing the lottery, answering a question in class, applying for a new job, asking someone on a date, etc… But why is disappointment such a powerful stigmatism people face in their lives, that they are willing to overlook their dreams, aspirations, and hopes just to avoid possible undesired outcomes? The answer is simple if you give disappointment the power to control your life, it will. According to Psychology Today, there are three ways to ensure that disappointment doesn’t control your everyday life, and cause you to miss out on new opportunities that may arise in your life.
- Don’t globalize disappointment.
If you globalize disappointment around one situation in your life, it doesn’t have a chance of resolving itself. This may be thinking about outcomes with a negative mindset such as if I don’t get this job, I’m never going to get an opportunity as good as this one or If I don’t answer this question right in class, my class is going to think I’m not smart. The way to reverse this mindset is to remind yourself that there are a ton of opportunities out there waiting for you, and just because maybe one door closed, another one will open. The future is in your hands, if you take every opportunity given, and aren’t afraid of minor bumps in the road. The only way your past can control your future is if you continue to give it life. If you make a conscious decision that one path wasn’t meant for you but there are others waiting, then your past has no control over where you will end up.
- Don’t personalize disappointment.
A common way people make disappointment a greater problem than they should allow is by personalizing their disappointment. An individual begins to take blame for situations that may not go their way, such as saying, “If I don’t make this relationship work, that means I am going to be alone forever because no one likes me.” This is completely not true, and you have to remember to always uplift yourself. When you personalize your disappointment you make it about who you are as a person, without considering all of the external factors that may have been involved. In terms of a relationship that may have ended, there’s never one side, so assuming all of the blame, and allowing it to control you; isn’t fair to yourself. You place yourself into this box of it’s my fault. The main message is understanding that there are always outside elements that can cause certain outcomes, which have nothing to do with your character as a person. Whether you contributed to a certain event shifting in a certain direction, it’s important to realize that every situation good or bad is a learning experience. Which should be used to give you insight on how to handle future situations to reach these desired outcomes.
- Learn from disappointment.
Your greatest moments come after your failures when you can realize what happened, correct it, and apply it to the situation in the future. Some of the greatest discoveries have been built on previous failures. What these individuals did was not allow the disappointment of rejection stop them from trying, and trying again. The actively purposed their dreams, and wouldn’t let a no or a mistake get in their way. It’s extremely hard not to get discouraged when faced with a challenging task that you may not be able to see through, but there is value in being able to pick yourself up again and take what occurred head on.
Feeling like you are a disappointment is a feeling that can be detrimental to your well-being. There are always new opportunities that await you if you just open the door to them. Don’t let the feeling of failure stop you from living your life to the fullest and chasing your dreams.