How to Stop the Feeling of Disappointment

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Failure is inevitable. The fear of failure, and making mistakes isn’t something to be afraid of or cause you mental and even physical agony. The constant overwhelming feeling that you may fail at something can be detrimental to your well-being. Failure resides in the fear of being a disappointment to oneself or others. The reason why we find ourselves in this predicament is that we focus too heavily upon what we expect instead of what we want. We immediately focus on our own desired outcomes and lose sight of the main goal at hand. The fear of disappointment is distress of potentially not getting what you want. This may even affect your confidence to take chances such as, playing the lottery, answering a question in class, applying for a new job, asking someone on a date, etc… But why is disappointment such a powerful stigmatism people face in their lives, that they are willing to overlook their dreams, aspirations, and hopes just to avoid possible undesired outcomes? The answer is simple if you give disappointment the power to control your life, it will. According to Psychology Today, there are three ways to ensure that disappointment doesn’t control your everyday life, and cause you to miss out on new opportunities that may arise in your life.

  1.     Don’t globalize disappointment.

If you globalize disappointment around one situation in your life, it doesn’t have a chance of resolving itself. This may be thinking about outcomes with a negative mindset such as if I don’t get this job, I’m never going to get an opportunity as good as this one or If I don’t answer this question right in class, my class is going to think I’m not smart. The way to reverse this mindset is to remind yourself that there are a ton of opportunities out there waiting for you, and just because maybe one door closed, another one will open. The future is in your hands, if you take every opportunity given, and aren’t afraid of minor bumps in the road. The only way your past can control your future is if you continue to give it life. If you make a conscious decision that one path wasn’t meant for you but there are others waiting, then your past has no control over where you will end up.

  1.     Don’t personalize disappointment.

A common way people make disappointment a greater problem than they should allow is by personalizing their disappointment. An individual begins to take blame for situations that may not go their way, such as saying, “If I don’t make this relationship work, that means I am going to be alone forever because no one likes me.” This is completely not true, and you have to remember to always uplift yourself. When you personalize your disappointment you make it about who you are as a person, without considering all of the external factors that may have been involved. In terms of a relationship that may have ended, there’s never one side, so assuming all of the blame, and allowing it to control you; isn’t fair to yourself. You place yourself into this box of it’s my fault. The main message is understanding that there are always outside elements that can cause certain outcomes, which have nothing to do with your character as a person. Whether you contributed to a certain event shifting in a certain direction, it’s important to realize that every situation good or bad is a learning experience. Which should be used to give you insight on how to handle future situations to reach these desired outcomes.

  1.     Learn from disappointment.

Your greatest moments come after your failures when you can realize what happened, correct it, and apply it to the situation in the future. Some of the greatest discoveries have been built on previous failures. What these individuals did was not allow the disappointment of rejection stop them from trying, and trying again. The actively purposed their dreams, and wouldn’t let a no or a mistake get in their way. It’s extremely hard not to get discouraged when faced with a challenging task that you may not be able to see through, but there is value in being able to pick yourself up again and take what occurred head on.

Feeling like you are a disappointment is a feeling that can be detrimental to your well-being. There are always new opportunities that await you if you just open the door to them. Don’t let the feeling of failure stop you from living your life to the fullest and chasing your dreams.

7 Easy Ways To Make Your Life Less Stressful

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It may seem that stress is ever present and that there should be one big answer to solve it. However, it’s actually the small changes to our daily lives that will cause us to feel stress-free. The key is consistency. Make being stress-free a habit by tweaking small details of your day, every day.

These 7 techniques will help to drastically reduce stress from your life and can easily be integrated into any lifestyle or routine.

  1. Go to Bed Earlier and Wake Up Earlier

Sleep is so important. It is important for our mental well being, overall health, and daily performance. Going to bed earlier and waking up earlier can help you start the day off just right, and your body will thank you for it. Our bodies need to recharge.

If you go to bed late, you will most likely want to wake up later too. This may cause your mornings to be chaotic and stressful. You zip from one task to the next, trying to get everything together before you’re out the door. If your mornings are chaotic, it is likely that the rest of your day will also follow this energy.

To prevent this from happening, give yourself time in the morning so you can relax and get ready for your day at a more leisurely pace. You can even organize yourself the night before, so you can spend time in the morning doing things that you actually enjoy like reading, journaling, meditating and so on. Prepare yourself for success by giving yourself the time you need to get things done. You time.

  1. Make Lists

With all this extra time you will have in the morning by going to bed early and preparing yourself the night before, start your morning off by making a list of all the things you have to do. This will help you stay on track and keep you organized for the day ahead.

If you find it overwhelming to make a list, try to only include things that are 100 percent necessary for you to do that day. This will stop you from feeling overwhelmed and help you to know definitively what needs to be done first and what will just have to wait for another day.

  1. Learn to Say ‘No’

It may be difficult, but one of the most powerful ways to reduce stress in your life is learning how to say ‘No’ to the things that you don’t really want to do. If you find yourself agreeing to things because you feel bad or because you “should” do them, you are simply wasting time in your own life. Putting pressure on yourself like this can lead to a lot of unnecessary stress. Not only this, but it also leaves less time for things that you actually want to do. No bueno. Learning how to say ‘No’ is powerful and the more you practice using it, the more room you will create in your life for things you actually want to say ‘Yes’ to. How great does that sound?

  1. Don’t Worry About What You Can’t Control

If you are a big worrier (and even if you’re not) you may have noticed that worrying takes up a lot of energy and sucks time out of the day. We often times worry about things that are totally out of our control. It sounds pointless when you think about it, doesn’t it? No amount of worrying is going to change the situation so it is not worth your time.

If the situation is in your control, however, keep your mind focused on solutions rather than the problem. When you give energy to a problem, it grows and becomes more complicated and difficult to manage. Positive energy is the way to go. Hone in on the solutions rather than the aspects that you have no power over.

  1. Limit Distractions

Think about how you spend your free time. Do you find yourself justifying spending 2 hours watching Netflix and sitting on your phone when you should have been starting that new personal project you have been planning for years? Do the effects of your weekend partying spill over into the rest of your week? Do you spend hours a day checking Facebook and scrolling through social media? The case may vary for each individual but we are sure that many can relate to this. Take the time to identify things that are distracting you from moving forward and actually doing the things that you want to do with your life. Once you have identified these habits, see if you can make some changes so they become less demanding of your precious time. For example, if you are spending roughly 5 hours a week on social media, consider cutting this time in half and using the rest of the time to take up a new hobby or do something that feels rewarding and purposeful. Crazy to think that this is just how things used to be. C’est la vie!

  1. Eat Well

A healthy diet plays a huge role in your body’s ability to adapt to stress. When you nourish your body with a wide variety of healthy foods, it gives you the fuel you need to get through the day. If you don’t already, try to incorporate lots of fresh vegetables and fruits, protein, healthy fats and whole grains into your diet. Another key to stressless success includes hydration! Drink lots and lots of water through the day, as this can also help to restore energy levels and improve the functioning of your body.

Avoid foods such as fast foods, processed foods, and foods that contain artificial preservatives, colorings and flavors. This includes artificial sweeteners and manufactured sweeteners like high fructose corn syrup. It’s just so, so terrible for our bodies.

  1. Practice Gratitude Whenever You Can

This is one of the most fulfilling and easiest ways to eliminate stress from your life. Just be thankful for all of the amazing opportunities and experiences in your life. In the morning, when you start your day, write a list of five things you are thankful for. This will start your day on a positive note. At the end of every day, make it a point to reflect on another 5 things that you feel grateful for. Perhaps even get into the habit of asking yourself- “What is the best thing that happened to me today?” This is also a great question to ask your family over dinner or to share with your roommates or partner as you are winding down for the night. Spread the gratitude!

If you incorporate these concepts into your life and make them habit you will find yourself feeling much less stressed and more energized. You might even find a smile on your face more often than not. Doesn’t sound too bad, does it?

7 Misconceptions That Are Keeping You From Achieving Peace of Mind

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Peace of mind is something that all seek but few achieve. It is a high priority for most yet most don’t make life choices that reflect this. It is easy to veer off the path of the pursuit of happiness.

If you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, or worse, it might be time to say goodbye to some of your misapprehensions. Here are some main misapprehensions that can compromise your peace of mind:

1. There’s no room for mistakes.

Peace cannot be achieved if you are constantly punishing yourself for making mistakes. It is a totally natural (even applauded) aspect of life. This constant self-punishment may even cause you to avoid taking risks and new experiences in order to escape your own self-judgment. Trying new things opens doors to unimaginable possibilities and brings a sense of fulfillment to life.

Mistakes are not failures. Mistakes are life lessons that you need to remember and learn from. Whatever healing process you may be going through personally, forgiving yourself for mistakes and accepting them as lessons will do wonders for your well being and peace of mind.

Instead of focusing on errors, pay attention to the feedback received and the experience gained.

Instead of feeling bad for focusing too much on money and things, focus on learning from your past, letting it go, and making your present better. Focus on the now. It’s all you have at the moment. The future is not here yet.

Over time, you will find that your life feels more balanced through your conscious efforts. Living with intention and connecting your actions and thoughts to things you have learned from the past will guide you to a more peaceful future. Be in control of your destiny.

2. Money will make me happy.

In this day and age, it is difficult to assume that money won’t bring you happiness because society so heavily relies on money. Money and material possessions, however, will not bring you happiness. If you give all of your time to professional commitments to earn money, you will find that you have no time left for anything personal at all. You will just have a big house full of toys that you can’t use because you work so much. You will find you are neglecting your loved ones and not fueling your personal relationships. That is not to say that making a good living is bad in any way. Be successful, but for the right reasons and in a healthy way.

When you try to balance finding happiness in money and growing your relationships with loved ones you will find yourself feeling empty and stressed.

There can be no happiness without peace of mind, and materialistic things can’t provide that. Happiness comes from feeling at peace with who you are and how you spend your time.

On the topic of money, spending wisely can make a huge difference to your peace of mind. Today, investing in meaningful and memorable social interactions such as family vacations, sporting events with friends, and so on will bring you more satisfaction than spending money on a pair of designer shoes ever will.

3. Shunning negative emotions brings peace of mind.

When negative things happen it is common to feel bouts of anger, frustration, anxiety, and other negative emotions. It’s also common to try and fight these emotions. This is more damaging than simply feeling the emotions and letting them run their course.

As Carl Jung said, “What you resist persists.”

Emotions don’t go away when we hide them. If anything, they control us even more; we just don’t realize it. Also, emotions are what make us human. Not feeling them means we’ve become robots.

Avoiding negative emotions can give you the feeling of being trapped in a prison because when you can’t accept them, you can’t deal with them. You deny yourself the opportunity to resolve those feelings permanently and feel free.

There are helpful ways to accept and come to terms with your emotions. With the help of mindfulness, meditation, and by writing them down. Peace doesn’t come from suppressing your feelings; it comes from working through them.

4. I need to hold on to my past and think about the future.

No, you don’t and you shouldn’t! Peace of mind can only come in the here and now. This is where you will find your answers and peace.

If you focus on the choices you made in the past you will never be able to move on. Holding on to your past will only allow it to stop you from being in the present. Everyone has experienced a mix of happy and hard moments. While reminiscing about the good times once in awhile is fine, you need to let go of memories and moments that hold you back or instill fear in you.

On the other hand, thinking about the future can cause you to imagine potential outcomes, also causing you to lose focus on the present. So pondering too much over what’s to come won’t help much either.

Life always happens in the present, only by truly experiencing it can we find peace of mind.

5. Getting ahead in life is all that matters.

The world is fast-paced and in our quest to stay ahead of the times and be successful, we forget that no amount of getting ahead will ever feel like enough. And more importantly, by pushing to get ahead in one part of our life, we fall behind in others.

The thought of “making up for lost time” shouldn’t be a plan for your future. You cannot just assume that the loved ones you left behind will always be there when you’re done racing to the top. Although, this race is never ending because you will never feel fulfilled. Ignoring your needs will affect your relationships, physical health, and mental state. Little did I know that ignoring my needs would affect my relationships, physical health, and mental state.

We often undermine the importance of balance. We cannot expect to find peace if we’re constantly chasing our dreams and neglecting ourselves and our relationships. We need to draw a line between what we need and what we want and focus more on the former. Only then will we know real peace.

6. I need to be or feel a certain way.

You need to be whoever you want to be. What brings you peace? What activities set your soul on fire in a good way? Express your personality in the most comfortable way. You will never achieve peace of mind by trying to impress others because, logically, everyone has different ideas of what perfect is. You can never impress everyone. Be yourself. The approval of others will never make you happy.

We all have this image of our “ideal” selves and we spend our lives trying to live up to this. You are already your ideal self. You just have to continue to make choices that fall in line with what your core is telling you. If you feel bad energy upon doing an action, then don’t do that. This could even be something that others are persuading you to believe is good. Be true to yourself.

Accepting ourselves can be immeasurably liberating. When we accept ourselves and our values and build our lives around what’s actually important to us, peace inevitably follows.

7. To express my feelings is to be weak.

You are not weak for expressing feelings. Expressing emotions as they come is one of the most freeing and liberating feelings. This is true peace of mind. Feeling comfortable enough to be comfortable with your emotions. This goes hand in hand with being yourself.

A lot of us feel uncomfortable expressing ourselves. Everyone has different experiences with being able to express emotions throughout life. Some are raised to believe that it’s not normal. However, it is our natural state and it truly is so normal.  

We need to realize that expressing our emotions in a healthy manner is a sign of strength rather than weakness. It takes a brave person to be honest about his or her feelings. More often than not, the expression is rewarded with peace of mind.

Achieving peace of mind is a continuous process. It’s about understanding yourself and accepting yourself for who you are. Bust these misconceptions and you will be on the path to happiness and contentment with yourself.


Words Have Power: Speak kindly to Yourself and Others

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“I monitor my self-talk, making sure it is supportive and uplifting for myself and others.” ~ Louise Hay

As individual humans, we all perceive the reality of our experiences by filtering reality through our own lenses, setting expectations for ourselves and others, and basing life on our individual system of belief. It’s different for everyone. For example, holding an impressive job title and making a lot of money may be important to one individual while aspects of life such as this may not be important to another individual. Each person’s life experience is unique, even if it is the slightest bit. This means that their way of processing beliefs and experiences is the unique as well.

With that being said, it is important to recognize this because it means that no one is given anything. We create our reality. This includes the way we respond to things both physically and verbally. We must take other people’s life experiences and ways of processing things into consideration before we speak or act.

Words, in particular, hold a tremendous amount of power in how you make someone or yourself feel. Think about how particular words resonate with you upon speaking them. For example, the word “rich” Could mean many different things to many different people. It may cause some anxiety because they desire to be rich because that is what they have been raised to believe is important. The word “rich” may be a positive and motivational word for some, allowing them to push for success. “Rich” may mean rich in life to those who don’t feel the draw of making big money and are content with living happily with less. “Rich” could also be some individuals’ reality. 

Now that the idea of multiple feelings and meanings of words for each person is set, it is important to realize that if a word causes anxiety or negative thoughts for you, you must eliminate it from your vocabulary. Once the negative word is removed, you should then replace the word with empowering words. For example, if the word “rich” causes you anxiety, then replace it with “fulfilled” or “successful”. These are feelings that people are often seeking as an alternative to being rich without fully knowing it.

Whatever the word may be, by changing your perspective and the language you are using to describe your experience with something, you will stop feeling like a victim. You will feel a rise in self-empowerment or you will empower others.

You will begin to see the bright side of every situation. By using empowering words you will begin to realize that you are living life abundantly. You feel like you have all the time in the world and a sense of ease. You must treat yourself with the same respect you would treat others.

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.“ ~Louise Hay

Language shapes our behavior, and each word we use is saturated in multitudes of personal meanings. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money, and respect, while the wrong words—or even the right words spoken in the wrong way—can lead to pain.

Map out your spoken words. Create your reality with how you choose to speak and interact with yourself and others. You are worth it.